Divorce is one of the most stressful situations a person can encounter, but when you have children, everything can be even more challenging. Not only do you have to go through the legal process, divide the property, take care of your mental health, and try to come to an agreement with your ex, you also have to think about your babies. Which makes everything even more complicated.
Many people delay the divorce because they’re afraid that it will affect their children. And, undoubtedly, it will. However, that shouldn’t be your reason to stay in an unhappy or unhealthy marriage. You can get divorced even if you have children, you just need some help dealing with it and we’ve got your back. Read to find out how to handle a divorce if you have children, what happens in the process of divorce, or if you’re just looking for advice on how much is divorce, we have you covered.
Don’t leave your children alone
If you have a lot to do, you should think about sending them to child care. Many people whose children are older decide to hire a nanny or a babysitter. In fact, when considering professional help, it might be wise to weigh all your options. For example, understanding the differences between an Au Pair vs Nanny can help you select the best fit for your family’s needs, schedule, and budget. Don’t forget that even if your kids are old enough to be left alone, they might still need you and it won’t be good for them if they don’t have someone to depend on. Children are very sensitive and they can tell that things aren’t right. They might feel unhappy and scared, which is why you should keep up with their lives as much as you can.
Take good care of yourself
Yes, you now have one less person to take care of, but that doesn’t mean that you can let yourself go. Make sure that you’re eating well, exercising, and take time for yourself. The more healthy and happy you are, the better you will be at taking care of yourself and it will be easier for you to be there for your children.
Don’t rush into making decisions regarding custody or support
It is only natural that you want to get everything settled as soon as possible, but that’s not going to help. You need to take time to think everything through and talk to a Chicago divorce lawyer who will help you and explain how the process works. If you rush things, you might make mistakes that could cost you in the future.
Keep in mind that the decisions you make about custody and support will be with you for many years. That’s why it is essential to choose them wisely. The more time you take for the decisions, the easier it will be for you to cope with everything else that comes with a divorce.
Remember that there are always two sides to every story
It is easy to start blaming your ex for everything that is going wrong, but that’s not going to help anyone. In saying that you don’t want your children to grow up feeling like the bad guy is one of their parents. Keep an open mind and don’t jump to conclusions, because it will only make things worse and damage everyone involved. If your ex wants to tell you his or her side of the story, listen, but only after you’ve had time to cool down and form an opinion of your own.
Try not to spend too much time dwelling on the past
You might feel angry and sad over what happened between the two of you, but those emotions won’t help your kids or yourself. You need to focus on the future instead. Don’t forget that there are plenty of people who have gone through similar situations before you, so there’s no need to dwell on the past forever. Take advantage of all the tips people have shared online, in books, and in magazines about how to deal with divorce when you have children.
Make things as simple as possible for your children
Don’t try to explain everything that happened and why the divorce is happening in a way that’s too complex for your child to understand. You don’t want your child to get confused because it will only make things worse. There are plenty of easy and short explanations that you can use to avoid unnecessary confusion. For example, you can say that “we’re not happy together anymore, so we decided to get divorced. We still love you very much, and we’re going to take care of all of our responsibilities as parents so you can live with us and be happy.”
Do what you can to keep your children’s lives as normal as possible
If you have kids, it is likely that they go to school or some kind of daycare. Don’t let their teachers or other people who work with them know that you got divorced. It will only make things more complicated and you don’t want your kids to suffer because of it. What’s more, there is no need for anyone else to know about your private life unless it’s absolutely necessary. Make sure that your ex does the same and don’t let him or her talk to your kids’ teachers about the divorce.
Summary
Make sure that you take good care of yourself and your children at this time. You should also try not to let the situation get out of control. Divorce is not the end of the world, but it is a serious change in your life and one of the most traumatic things that can happen to anyone. You can make a conscious decision and try to make the best of it. You can do this by allowing yourself to feel sad and angry over what happened in the past without letting those feelings affect you in the future. Remember that there are people who will support you during this difficult time, and if you don’t have any close friends or family members, then look for support online or from a professional therapist. There is no reason why you can’t have a civil divorce and make sure that the trauma from your divorce doesn’t affect your children for the rest of their lives.