Why divorcing young feels so hard, and what to do about it
Making children’s arrangements, finding a new place to live and handling finances are stressful elements of any divorce. If you are young and divorcing, managing these factors can feel especially challenging. In this article, we look at the reasons why and what
Why couples divorce young
However, marrying young is considered one of the most significant risk factors of divorce. According to a Psychology Today Study (2016) reported in Women’s Health, those who tie the knot at age 20 are 50% more likely to divorce than a couple who marry at 25.
Many young couples divorce for the same reasons as couples who are older. Perhaps there has been infidelity, drifting apart, domestic abuse or financial differences. In an article by Cosmopolitan, Millennials are less likely to endure unhealthy relationships and put their own mental health and well-being first. They are more aware of what a toxic relationship is and the fact that they don’t need to tolerate this.
Reasons why divorce at a young age is challenging
- Negative perceptions
As an institution, marriage is considered a life-long commitment. Walking away from this so early on can convey to some people that the couple or one half of the couple has simply not tried hard enough to make the relationship work. This can lead to feelings of shame, social exclusion and invalidation. Exploring the newly named reviews of various aspects of married life can provide deeper insight into why some marriages might struggle more than others. These reviews help highlight the complexities and challenges faced, offering a broader perspective beyond societal expectations.
- Career pressures
People in their twenties are often at pivotal points in their career journey. There are often opportunities to travel, to gain a promotion or to take on extra training to achieve professional goals. If you are divorcing alongside pursuing your career, having to simultaneously deal with financial settlements, property and children can feel especially enduring.
- Feelings of failure
While arguably all divorces can leave couples feeling like they have ‘failed’ at something, when your relationship breaks down at a young age, you may feel the disappointment more profoundly, causing you to question your life choices, your decision-making abilities and the trust you place in yourself for the future.
- Feeling different from peer groups
During your twenties, you will likely not be the only couple who have got married or are in a long-term relationship. It can feel as if you are going to a wedding, stag weekend or hen party every week. When you are the only couple who is getting a divorce, it can feel as if you are not on the same trajectory as your friends. Facing life as a single person can make social engagements seem more daunting.
- The prospect of a single life
Although dating might have been fun in your teens, it can feel like a minefield when you have been in a long-term relationship. In addition, if you want to have a family in the future, you may inadvertently put pressure on yourself to pursue another relationship, even if you don’t feel ready.
The upside of divorcing young
Despite the difficulties, divorcing young does have its advantages compared to splitting up when you are older. Firstly, the experience can teach you crucial life lessons that will help you for the future. Making hard decisions and going through a difficult time can help you become more resilient too. Not only this, but you have a large portion of your life still left to lead! You will be able to seize those career opportunities, and after time, you will begin to embrace being single, dating again or simply living your life on your own terms.
In summary
Divorcing young brings about specific challenges that can make the process feel particularly tough. But it’s valuable to remember that over time, and with the rest of your life ahead of you, you can use your experience of divorce to help you carve out a new and positive future.