Thirty can feel like a watershed age, with many cultures viewing this as an age by which certain life milestones like marriage, starting a family and homeownership – should already be achieved.
As we enter the busiest birthday months (August and September), experts at cardfactory have taken a deep dive into Census data, focusing on key milestones to discover how these traditional life landmarks have shifted over time.
If you’re feeling the pressure to “have it all together” by 30 – you’ll be pleased to know that their research has revealed it’s taking the average person three extra years to achieve key milestones compared to 20 years ago.
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Average age: |
To get married |
To become a mother |
To buy a house |
|
In 2004… |
29 |
27 |
32 |
|
In 2020s |
32 |
29 |
36 |
In 2004, the average age to reach these key milestones was 29; however, looking at data from the 2020s, this has shifted to 32.
Society frequently emphasises the importance of the “big 3-0,” but as significant trends and societal changes continue to drive the age at which people marry, have children, and buy property upwards, it’s important to reassess these goalposts. It seems 33 is the new 30!
We’re all getting married later
Between 2004 and 2020, the average age for tying the knot has risen by 2.7 years, with men marrying 1.5 years later than women. Compared to the 1950s, we’re now saying “I do” more than eight years later. It’s no wonder we’re waiting longer, given that a recent study found the average wedding cost in 2024 will reach £20,700.
Women are becoming mothers over two years later
The age of first-time mothers has been steadily rising, with women in 2020 starting their motherhood journey 2 years later than those in 2004 and a full four years later than mothers in 1950.
For those considering motherhood, the financial commitment is significant, with the cost of raising a child reaching £166,000 for couples and £200,000 for those going it alone.
Homeownership shifts by four years
Over the past two decades, home ownership has seen the biggest shift. In 2004, the median age for buying a home was 32, but by 2022, it had shot up to 36.
This is perhaps unsurprising considering UK house prices have more than trebled since the start of the 21st century.
To find out more about the impact moving milestones have on us, cardfactory spoke to counsellor Niloufar Esmaeilpour, MSc, RCC, SEP from Lotus Therapy & Counselling Centre:
Niloufar says: “Clearly, the milestones are taking us longer to reach today than a few decades ago, considering mounting societal pressures, changing job markets, and all-pervasive social media. This pressure of comparing with others at all times results in additional stress and anxiety, moving the focus away from personal goals. Certainly, this long journey is likely to make us feel inadequate and frustrated due to the feeling that we have not reached where we should be, which definitely affects our mental health.”
Tips for managing the milestone scaries:
Niloufar also shares his tips for avoiding negative feelings if you’re approaching a milestone;
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Shift your focus towards gratitude
Niloufar says: “First, be aware and grateful. Focusing on what you have accomplished—no matter how trivial it may appear—and feeling grateful for that can occasionally shift your focus away from what is not there to what is available in life. It could be as simple as creating a list each morning about three things for which you are grateful or meditating on the positives about where you have come from.
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Set tailored “bite-sized” goals
“Second is setting practical and tailored goals. Not judging yourself against others, develop a vision board or listing of the goals that reflect your values and aspirations. It’s important to break these goals into little steps and celebrate each accomplishment, however small it may seem. This may help gain momentum and a sense of accomplishment.”
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Don’t neglect your support network
“Last is getting support and connecting with others. It can be helpful to discuss feelings with friends, family members, or a therapist and gain different perspectives on the matter, in addition to receiving emotional support. Remember – the milestones of one’s life are not only about destinations but about growth and experiences on the way. By focusing on personal growth and a support network, people will be able to sail through these highly crucial stages in life more resiliently and confidently.”
Whatever birthday your loved ones are celebrating this birthday season, you can show just how proud you are of where they are with a personalised birthday card: https://www.cardfactory.co.uk/cards/celebration-cards/birthday-cards/