Many men think of seduction as a performance. They think they need clever lines, practised moves, or a showy, in-your-face kind of confidence. But when you talk to professional companions who have witnessed the way men try to seduce others for years, they’ll tell you men often focus on the wrong things.
“They put too much value on looks, don’t realise how important presence is, and often miss what truly attracts someone.”
Seduction is not about acting or putting on a show. It’s about being aware, understanding your partner, and showing real emotional intelligence. Most importantly, it’s about being genuine.
We spoke with a London escort who shared first-hand insights on what men often get wrong about seduction and how they can do it better.
The Obsession With Appearance
Men often think that sex appeal is mostly about looks. They believe they have to look perfect or dress a certain way, but research shows that while appearance matters at first, it quickly fades if there’s nothing deeper. Studies also show that elements such as voice, scent, posture, and energy can become more attractive than just looks within a few minutes of interaction.
“A good-looking man can still fail to impress if he doesn’t bring more to the table”. Meanwhile, someone who looks average but is funny, engaging, confident, and genuine is often seen as more attractive beyond the first few minutes of meeting. Many men think looks give them an edge, but real appeal comes from your energy, how you communicate, and your personality.
Real Confidence Over Everything
Confidence attracts people, but cockiness pushes them away, and men often confuse the two. Some talk too loudly or too much, try to dominate conversations, or hide their nerves with bravado. The problem is, bravado doesn’t last, and most people can see straight through it.
Escorts often say the most attractive men are calm and confident. They don’t get flustered, don’t rush, and don’t try too hard. Their confidence feels genuine and relaxed. A man with a reassuring energy, the ability to be present, and who feels comfortable with silence often stands out more than someone loud.
If you only pretend to be confident, people notice quickly. But when your confidence is real, you don’t need to show it off.
Seduction Should be a Shared Experience
A common mistake men make is seeing seduction as a one-sided effort. They think they have to perform while the woman just watches, but real seduction is something both people share.
Companions say the best moments happen when both people are present and engaged. There’s a give-and-take, with both sides picking up on each other’s signals. When you’re in sync and conscious of each other’s experience, real chemistry can grow. It’s about moving with the other person, not against them.
Genuine, Active Listening
Listening is one of the most underrated skills in seduction. It’s not enough to just hear someone; you need to truly listen. Pay attention to their tone, pace, feelings, and small pauses. Focus on what they’re saying instead of just waiting for your turn. This kind of attention can make listening itself feel seductive.
“Men rarely listen to understand; instead, they listen just to reply and try to impress”. That’s why the simple advice to “listen to your date” is so valuable. It’s simple, but it helps you stand out from most men.
When a woman feels you’re really paying attention, her attraction can start to grow even before any physical contact. Not only that, you can actually get to know each other, which is the whole point, really, isn’t it?
They Compliment Wrong
Men often give too many compliments or the wrong kind. “Saying someone is beautiful is nice, but it’s generic, and most people have heard it many times. The best compliments are specific”. Try to notice something unique, and focus on personality or actions instead of just looks. The compliments that stand out and really make someone feel special are those that recognise subtle or personal things, not just the obvious.
Instead of “you look beautiful”, try “Your dress really brings out the blue in your eyes.” You can even use this as a conversation starter and tag on “where did you get it from?”
This compliment is specific, personal and recognises a decision or something that she can actually control.
Take Your Time
Seduction often falls apart when it’s rushed. Men sometimes try to move things along quickly because they’re worried about losing the moment. But going too fast usually ruins the mood. Taking your time and being intentional creates much more excitement than moving too quickly. Attraction grows most when there’s anticipation. Slowing down, using small pauses, and letting unspoken energy build helps chemistry develop naturally.
